180

Give the people what they want! Everybody loves smut...
Dirty limericks, anyone?

There once was a local called Land
Who had a quite limber right hand.
One night he screamed,
'That damn Vaseline,
Some bastard has mixed it with sand!'

There was a young man from Montrose
Who had a wet dream I suppose.
The landlady said,
As she changed his bed,
'This didn't come out of his nose.'

There was a young hooker from Looe
Who filled her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin,
'If they pay to get in,
'They can pay to get out of here, too!'

There was a young girl from Divizes
Who had tits that were two different sizes.
One was quite small
Hardly anything at all,
But the other was big and won prizes.

There was a young sailor called Dave
Who kept a dead 'ore in a cave
It took him some pluck
To have a cold fuck
But think of the money he saved!

There was a young man from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
Within an hour
His cock was in flower,
And his balls were all covered with weeds.

There once was a vampire named Mabel
Whose periods were rather unstable.
One night at full moon,
She took out a spoon
And drank herself under the table.

daqui